When my Parisean friend, L, says something that surprises me, I am not sure if it is her choice of words that startles me, or if it is a style of thinking that is different from that which is common in the U.S. It is certainly obvious that some thoughts are more common in some cultures than in others. Most often when I inquire, I find that it is the manner of thinking that is surprising, and the choice of words accurately expresses her thought.
In the U.S., the quest is to find one's "true self." We are exhorted to 'follow our bliss' and listen to the quiet voice at the center that reminds us who we are. We spend our lives trying to discover and act out that central 'truth' that we believe is in there somewhere. The thinking is that underneath the disillusionment and critical others, there is a sparkling truth at the core that has been compromised by group-think and all of the dissapointments and fears of growing up.
Most of us will admit that we still don't know what our bliss is, and, as we approach nearer to retirement, we often see it as our last attempt to learn who we 'really' are. Sometimes we give voice to the joke of age "I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up."
Over Christmas I received a seasonal greeting from L; she quickly summed up her key events for the year and asked me "Who are you becoming?"
Contained in that question is the expectation of change and growth, of metamorphosis, of unfinished states emerging in new and unknown directions.
It is a question that reaches outward and stretches forward, rather than centering and moving inward.
I like it.
So how about you, my friends, who are you becoming?
Subscribe: LyricFlight
Posts
Comments
The Master Plan
Oldies but Goodies
Natural Building/living Posts
About Me
- Hayden Foster
- yep, I did it! After blathering on for 2+ years I bought a 10 acre farm and am returning to Michigan to live as sustainably as I can figure out how to do.
friends
where in the world?
11 comments:
Very thoughtprovoking. But this isn't another Meme, is it? Because then I would be becoming irritated. :)
ahhh, tim, it wasn't until you suggested it.
but you did. so you are "it."
Great question. I've noticed that "who I would like to become" is quite different than "who I am becoming". It may be safe to say "I'm becoming bitter".
It has become more difficult to let go of disappointments. Optimism seems more of a goal now rather than my natural state of mind.
Culture does influence the way we think. I'm still trying to figure out how culture makes us think here, as a people.
As an individual [even without knowing fully how culture makes us think as a group] I've never followed the 'crowd'.
I seem to be an odd one amongst even my friends here. My opinions are not really understood.
I'm just being myself, as usual.
Shandi, I hope that this is just a momentary bleakness for you. I've had my bitter moments, but for whatever reason they haven't become a permanent part of me. But then, I will try for the pot of gold but I expect nothing. Maybe it's those low expectations that save me.
acquiring the habit of thinking for oneself insures that you'll be the "odd one," doesn't it, GG?
I don't know why most people dislike thinking and/or are so afraid of it. I just don't get it.
culture is strong, though, and that's one reason I love to travel, to uncover the assumptions in my own thinking.
At thirty I spent 3 weeks in Japan with friends. the thing that most shocked me was watching the daily raising of a 2-yr old named Yu-Chan. By our standards it was wildly indulgent and permissive; it was clear that it was a cultural difference and not an individual one (because complete strangers interacted with Yu-Chan the same as his parents did) and yet I could look around me and see that the society was cohesive, courteous, well behaved. It made my head reel! Completely different approach.
I am becoming:
more confident
more relaxed
lonelier
more hopeful
more aware of the ways in which my current life falls short.
I like your list of what you're becoming. I'll go work on mine.
People don't like to think because it means confronting those inner demons sometimes. It's a scary thing to do.
I love this way of thinking. Who I am becoming is up to me, not some personality I was born with and have no ability to change.
kat, I absolutely believe this. in example, I am critical - but oh, my no where NEAR as critical as my younger self! I've learned too much... when you put yourself in the path of experience things happen.
Thanks for the question. I cannot answer stuff like this so easily! It tends to unfold, sometimes in my blog, sometimes in conversations, sometimes when the change is ripe.
To try and answer would be to try to pull the egg out of the chicken.
Post a Comment